The Most Beautiful Baby in the World...

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More on VBAC

Initial research: saw an ad for a book on TFB radio show website that seems to be very helpful - called the VBAC Companion Guide, I am going to order it from Amazon.

Some other good resources I am looking into include:

• Hypnobabies (they have a VBAC CD)
• Business of Being Born (documentary suggested to me by TFB)
• Birthcut.com
• Birthing From Within
• Your Best Birth

I called my OB/GYN practice an asked if they supported VBAC, answer is yes. I found a Hospital Database on TFB blog from her Cesarean Awareness Month post to find out if my hospital allows VBAC, and it does. However, I saw on TFB blog that it is not enough for them to simply say “yes we support VBAC” b/c they still might oppose me during labor and fish for reasons to perform a cesarean. In addition to asking if they support VBAC, I need to also ask what their VBAC success rate is: very clever! And personally, I want to ask them of signs of fetal distress that might be causes for cesarean and compare with my research and then quote them back on delivery day if they try to mislead me (Failure to progress/dilate is not a medical indicator of needing a c-section, I do know that babies need to be born w/in 24 hours of water breaking…I wonder if that is a myth too?). I am doing all of this research now, before I get baby fever and lose focus, before I get pregnant and exhausted, before nesting becomes insane and before I have a toddler (whoh! that is weird to say)! I am going to read everything I possibly can and memorize as much as I can and maybe print out a type of “manual” to carry with me to the hospital.

I am gonna have to eat a few of my words from this post …(regarding epidural) b/c I have done A LOT of research since then, but I am going to:

• NOT get induced, I want the baby to come when he/she is ready
• Try not to get an epidural (not sure if this is possible for me, I am a wimp, but epi slows down labor and I don’t want to give the medical staff ANY ammunition to suggest a c-section)..I will probably get pain meds through IV (haven't researched that yet)
• NOT get pitocin if I can help it (makes contractions much more intense and can put stress on baby - affecting heartrate, which is also ammunition for them to suggest cesarean).

These are all goals, not written in stone. If I have learned anything this past year its that you can’t write anything in stone when it comes to pregnancy, birthing, babies, and parenting, END OF STORY. But this time, I CAN be informed, and I can state my goals for labor/delivery and correct these “misleading” reasons for unnecessary surgery, should they be brought upon me. This time, I have an opinion and a strong voice, and I won’t just sit back and listen.

  

When I approached Cory about a VBAC (he was very supportive of whatever I want), he said “you are already thinking of #2?” This coming from the man who has the most baby fever of any man I have ever met, if it was his decision alone, we would have been pregnant on Carson’s 6 week B’day….Just kidding, but he has mentioned that he wanted to start trying when Carson is 1…me….not-so-much. Ideally (I know nothing works the way we plan it!) I want Carson to be 2 or 3 before baby #2 joins our family. Anyway, from what I have read so far, everything suggests that you have your plan laid out before you are even pregnant. So I am on the right track.

   

You may be thinking, what is the point of all this research, effort and time spent since you may have a c-section anyway? I read somewhere (I think in a sample paragraph from VBAC companion book) that it is good for babies to be in the birth canal and go through at least some labor. It squeezes fluid out of the lungs, and releases a hormone for alertness which benefits breastfeeding and bonding. MAKES TOTAL SENSE! I did not push AT ALL, I wasn’t even in real labor (I was having small contractions during pre-op), and on top of that I was very doped up, so Carson was not very alert at all the first day. The nurses kept saying “he’ll be a different baby tomorrow” hmmm ya think? I can already tell….they are gonna hate me in the hospital the 2nd go-round!!!!!!

  

I have already done a little bit of research on fetal distress in an effort to not be fooled. Just a basic google search:

http://www.pregnancy-calendars.net/fetaldistress.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_distress

http://www.birth-injury-malpractice-law.com/fetal-distress-signs.shtml

http://www.livestrong.com/article/79939-signs-distress-unborn-baby/

The following information is copied from the ICAN website :

   

Research consistently shows VBAC is a reasonably safe choice for women with a prior cesarean, consistent with the recent NIH Consensus Panel findings. While VBAC does carry risks associated with the possibility of uterine rupture, this event is rare ( *I read also that – women w/ out prior c-sections also have risk of uterine rupture FYI). Cesarean surgery carries life-threatening short-term risks, as well as long term risks to future fertility and pregnancies.

Women are often told it is safer, less painful and easier to have a cesarean, even though cesareans are generally shown to have greater risks and have longer recovery times than VBAC. The choice to have a non-medically indicated surgical procedure is based on a false representation of the risks and consequences of a scheduled repeat cesarean and an inflated representation of the risks and consequences of VBAC.

“Women are subjected to a provider’s lowered risk threshold for practice and do not receive complete informed consent regarding the risks of a cesarean delivery,” said Andrews. “Women and their babies are forced to take on increased medical risk during pregnancy and childbirth so that providers can feel they’ve decreased their own non-medical risks in practice.”

For women who encounter VBAC bans, ICAN has developed a guide to help them understand their rights as patients. This resource discusses the principles of informed consent and the right of every patient to refuse an unwanted medical procedure. The guide can be found at http://www.ican-online.org/vbac/your-right-refuse-what-do-if-your-hospital-has-banned-vbac-q.

Women who are seeking information about how to avoid a cesarean, have a VBAC, or are recovering from a cesarean can visit www.ican-online.org for more information. In addition to more than 130 local chapters worldwide, the group hosts an active on-line discussion group that serves as a resource for mothers.

About Cesareans: When a cesarean is medically necessary, it can be a lifesaving technique for both mother and baby, and worth the risks involved. Potential risks to babies from cesareans include: low birth weight, prematurity, respiratory problems, and lacerations. Potential risks to women include: hemorrhage, infection, hysterectomy, surgical mistakes, re-hospitalization, dangerous placental abnormalities in future pregnancies, unexplained stillbirth in future pregnancies and increased percentage of maternal death. www.ican-online.org/ican-white-papers

There is a little boy in my house...

So, I need to do Carson's laundry and had very few choices on outfits this morning, so I dressed him in something that isn't always my 1st choice to dress him in: button down polo and khaki pants. Nothing is wrong with this outfit, I just hate shirts on him b/c they ride up, I prefer onesies and rompers especially now since he is mobile, yep my baby is mobile and he tries to follow me to different rooms, he is pretty slow though :) (He has also found the dog food. He made a big mess, but we caught him before he could eat any) Anyway, this outfit I put on him made him look SO grown up, like a little boy, so bittersweet. Lately he is constantly pulling up and standing up, he always prefers to stand (can't stand alone yet). Even when I put him in the pack n play with all of his awesome toys, he just holds on to the edge and stands there. He wants to be big SO bad. My BABY will be a year old in 3.5 months. CRAZY.

Perfection

Cory, Carson and I returned from Augusta on Sunday. Cory had been there working at the Masters' for a week so Carson and I went to visit him for the weekend.

When we got home the weather outside was beautiful, so we put a blanket in the shade for all 3 of us to sit on and watched the dogs play in the yard (the dogs love it when we come out on "their turf" - they get SO excited). Carson climbed on us (his fav thing to do these days) and chewed on his sunglasses and he too loves watching the dogs. Then I remembered I had some bubbles, and I started to blow them for Carson of course, and Chase start chasing and trying to eat every bubble, he was jumping 4 feet in the air trying to catch some of them! Cory and I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. We had such a nice time that I didn't even care about taking pictures....just for one afternoon I didn't want to be the ghost behind the camera... and it felt SO good just to enjoy the moment.

Judgemental

During my experience as a mother I have been really annoyed by some judgemental scenarios. So I thought I would share them as a "what not to do" and let me preface this by saying I am sure I have probably offended other moms with my opinions, but I am consciously trying to mind my own business these days b/c that is what I wish people would do for me. You know "do unto others..."

Scenario #1
I was at a gathering where a mom was letting her baby CIO, which is fine and does not hurt babies in my opinion. I do this myself from time to time depending on what kind of day Carson has - b/c I know my son best and I know what works for him. Anywho...there was another mother who witnessed the CIO method taking place and looked at the crowd and said "Well, I ROCK MY babies" with a "shame on you" tone and face. And I wanted to say..honey nobody cares. After she said that, a couple of other parents were whispering in shame of that mother practicing the CIO method. I guess they didn't know that she was my friend they were talking about and that I also use CIO when I need to. AN.NOY.ING people..mind your own.


Scenario #2
Actually this is several scenarios...people have all kind of opinions of Carson sleeping with us for 1/2 of the night. We rock him to sleep whenever its apparent that he is tired which is usually between 7 and 8pm. Then he wakes up anywhere from midnight to 2AM and I put him in bed with us. Why? B/C I am tired and I have a job to get to in the mornings so you won't catch me sleep training at 2AM, no thanks. Anyway, I digress often, but people tell us "good luck with that" or "you're making it hard on you and him" or "he is gonna be in your bed forever" or "you better put a stop to it now"....People - it is NUNYA! You worry about yours and I will worry about mine. I don't care where other people's babies sleep, why are people concerned where mine sleep?

Scenario #3
Among the wars of formula v. breast, and sleep training v. not; there is a big one on natural v. medicated/intervention births. I have 2 very lovely friends, (one is my SIL) who are very into the natural way of things. Rebecca wanted and achieved a natural childbirth and my good friend Janie wants the same thing in June. While this is not something I ever aspired to..lets face it I HEART an epidural. Man...I tell ya...I was on some good drugs when I had my baby and for 2 weeks after.. mmmm.....there I go digressing again. Ok so while natural is not something I wanted, I would never put them down for wanting it or tell them that they weren't capable of doing it - I don't know what they are capable of, and people have different thresholds for pain (Janie's Dr. was very rude to her about wanting a natural birth and Becca had a few people tell her that she would change her mind when she felt a real contraction). On the other side, it is my hope that they don't view me or any other mother as "weak" for accepting the pain meds in order to GIVE BIRTH. Everyone has different views on what they want the birth of their children to be and that is A-OK. I was so annoyed in my labor and delivery class - a lady kept asking questions about pain meds and at what stage in labor you can get them and other mothers just kept laughing, rolling there eyes, saying "my gosh, she doesn't want to feel anything does she" ...well you know what..she doesn't HAVE to b/c this day in age the drugs are there and they are goooood. To me its like technology...technology is wonderful, I don't understand people who hate and avoid technology! Why would I mail or fax a resume to a client when I can just email it? If you know me you know I ain't gonna do nothin I ain't got to.


My point in all of this is don't hate (you haven't walked in their shoes)...everyone is an individual and has their own way of doing things for a reason.

Ranting and VBAC

I was reading a breastfeeding post on Baby Rabies which led me to another breastfeeding post on a new blog that I have never read called The Feminist Breeder:


I was reading all of these debates and posts on breastfeeding v. formula feeding (a never-ending-nonsense-of-a-war), thinking "its none of your damn business how I or any other woman feeds her baby."

I was upset once b/c someone made a snide comment about the fact that Carson still sleeps with us for 1/2 the night. I wanted to say "You worry about yours and I will worry about mine, it is none of your business " There are people out there that think their way is the only and correct way. Every baby is an INDIVIDUAL and needs their own individual care. Babies are everchanging and as a mother I have learned that I am the same way, I have changed my views on many issues, one of which is sleep training which I will touch on in another post.

I have digressed....I then noticed on the Feminist Breeder's sidebar that she had a successful VBAC so I read her story and I began to wonder what if I could do that?


Let me preface this by saying that after my C-section, I assumed that my future birth-giving would be via C-section and I am the type of person that never questions medical professionals. I mean come on...they are the ones who have done years of school, training, research, etc...I respect them for that. So I always follow their advice. I always assume they have my best interest in mind. So I don't completely understand people who are "anti-doctor" and all that comes with it. I am more of a "better safe than sorry" type of person.



Without doing any research I just assumed that a C-section was safer for my future babies and myself b/c that is what my Doctor told me the protocol was.



After I read this : http://www.ican-online.org/vbac/postion-statement-elective-cesareans-riskier-than-vaginal-birth

This site listed some risks that definitely got my attention - risks that I had NO IDEA existed.

Examples:

-Women undergoing cesarean are at increased risk of hysterectomy in both the current and future pregnancies.
-The maternal death rate is twice as high for elective cesarean as for vaginal birth.
-In subsequent pregnancies, women with a prior cesarean have higher rates of serious placental abnormalities which endanger the life and health of the baby and the mother. -Women are rarely told that a cesarean places future babies at higher risk.
-After cesarean section, women face higher rates of secondary infertility as well as higher rates of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy.

I wondered why wasn't I informed of the risks to future babies if I had this initial C-section with Carson?

When the Dr. discovered that Carson was breech, the conversation was pretty much like this:


Dr.: Baby is breech you have 2 options, we try to turn him in utero which is a small chance of success based on fluid levels and gestational age; or option 2: cesarean on Sunday.


Me: ummm, ok, what do you think I should do? (I was so scared and I was alone, Cory was not at this apt with me b/c I didn't know it was going to be the last one)


Of course he recommended the C-section and the rest is history (I loved my childbirth experience and hospital stay, I just wish I had all the info before making that decision). I wish I would have asked more questions, but I was in a state of shock. I wish he would have informed me more. I am sure these risks were written in the paperwork that we signed when we checked into the hospital, but it is impossible to read ALL of that stuff when you know that you will meet your 1st baby within 2 hours. Like I said earlier, I am VERY trusting of Doctors.


Anyway, VBAC has my attention, and I will be researching more to know my risks (with both scenarios) and to know my options and my rights.

1st Haircut

Carson had to get his 1st haircut much sooner than most babies, we can never go anywhere without strangers telling us how much hair our baby has. His hair had gotten so long that it was starting to poke him in the eyes, so we took him to Sport Clips (where his Daddy gets his haircuts) and they did a fantastic job. Carson actually enjoyed it. He loves having his hair combed and of course he was fascinated by being in a new place, so he was very well behaved and didn't cry at all. I was so proud of him :)

They gave us a tiny bag to put a lock of his hair in, and a 1st Haircut Certificate...too cute.

Before Pics

During

After

Aren't they handsome!

Happy Easter

We had such a wonderful Easter Day; Carson was so adorable in his little Easter outfit! I made us a yummy roast with carrots and onions in the crock pot - SO easy! And we just relaxed and took pictures of Carson. Hope everyone else had a great day celebrating! Here are a few pics.

Checking out his goodies that the Easter Bunny left him this morning! His basket consisted of finger puppets inside the eggs, rubber blocks, an ELMO that talks when he shakes it, his very own placemat, plates, bowls and spoons, and a wind-up chicken.

8 months old

This past month has been very eventful. Carson has been doing so many new things..it is so exciting watching him grow, and I am so proud of him.

Here is what he is up to:

• He started pulling up to standing position, so we lowered the crib.
• He can go from laying down to sitting up on his own.
• He started army crawling, using his arms to pull his body.
• He blows rasberries on everything - my arm, the recliner, the dog, you name it!
• He is like a little monkey...everytime I pick him up or hold him he tries to climb to the top of my head it seems.
• Still no teeth, and no sign of any soon.
• He eats just about anything except for the plain meats in a jar, I don't blame him. I have found some meat and veggie mixes that he does like.
• He is so entertaining, Cory and I are constantly laughing at him.

Here are a few recent pics with my NEW camera!