Judgemental

During my experience as a mother I have been really annoyed by some judgemental scenarios. So I thought I would share them as a "what not to do" and let me preface this by saying I am sure I have probably offended other moms with my opinions, but I am consciously trying to mind my own business these days b/c that is what I wish people would do for me. You know "do unto others..."

Scenario #1
I was at a gathering where a mom was letting her baby CIO, which is fine and does not hurt babies in my opinion. I do this myself from time to time depending on what kind of day Carson has - b/c I know my son best and I know what works for him. Anywho...there was another mother who witnessed the CIO method taking place and looked at the crowd and said "Well, I ROCK MY babies" with a "shame on you" tone and face. And I wanted to say..honey nobody cares. After she said that, a couple of other parents were whispering in shame of that mother practicing the CIO method. I guess they didn't know that she was my friend they were talking about and that I also use CIO when I need to. AN.NOY.ING people..mind your own.


Scenario #2
Actually this is several scenarios...people have all kind of opinions of Carson sleeping with us for 1/2 of the night. We rock him to sleep whenever its apparent that he is tired which is usually between 7 and 8pm. Then he wakes up anywhere from midnight to 2AM and I put him in bed with us. Why? B/C I am tired and I have a job to get to in the mornings so you won't catch me sleep training at 2AM, no thanks. Anyway, I digress often, but people tell us "good luck with that" or "you're making it hard on you and him" or "he is gonna be in your bed forever" or "you better put a stop to it now"....People - it is NUNYA! You worry about yours and I will worry about mine. I don't care where other people's babies sleep, why are people concerned where mine sleep?

Scenario #3
Among the wars of formula v. breast, and sleep training v. not; there is a big one on natural v. medicated/intervention births. I have 2 very lovely friends, (one is my SIL) who are very into the natural way of things. Rebecca wanted and achieved a natural childbirth and my good friend Janie wants the same thing in June. While this is not something I ever aspired to..lets face it I HEART an epidural. Man...I tell ya...I was on some good drugs when I had my baby and for 2 weeks after.. mmmm.....there I go digressing again. Ok so while natural is not something I wanted, I would never put them down for wanting it or tell them that they weren't capable of doing it - I don't know what they are capable of, and people have different thresholds for pain (Janie's Dr. was very rude to her about wanting a natural birth and Becca had a few people tell her that she would change her mind when she felt a real contraction). On the other side, it is my hope that they don't view me or any other mother as "weak" for accepting the pain meds in order to GIVE BIRTH. Everyone has different views on what they want the birth of their children to be and that is A-OK. I was so annoyed in my labor and delivery class - a lady kept asking questions about pain meds and at what stage in labor you can get them and other mothers just kept laughing, rolling there eyes, saying "my gosh, she doesn't want to feel anything does she" ...well you know what..she doesn't HAVE to b/c this day in age the drugs are there and they are goooood. To me its like technology...technology is wonderful, I don't understand people who hate and avoid technology! Why would I mail or fax a resume to a client when I can just email it? If you know me you know I ain't gonna do nothin I ain't got to.


My point in all of this is don't hate (you haven't walked in their shoes)...everyone is an individual and has their own way of doing things for a reason.

Setback

I feel a setback coming on in the sleep training. :(

He started to get really congested last night and couldn't sleep. We are now afraid to incline his mattress b/c he moves and rolls SO much, we just don't want him to get stuck in a bad position. So we put him in bed with us and just put a pillow under him and he slept great, OF COURSE!

I started him back on the nebulizer, suction and saline last night in an attempt to prevent ear infections or RSV, etc...Hopefully this is just a cold.

Happy Wednesday everyone, can't wait for Friday, mom is gonna watch Carson so Cory and I can go on a DATE - its been a WHILE!

Just a few little updates

We are all doing well. I am very excited for Mom to come visit and help me out with Carson while Cory is out of town. I am SUPER excited about the 2 full nights of sleep I am going to get :) I am letting Mom handle Carson at night and he will still go to daycare during the day to give her a little break then she can go pick him up in the afternoon when she is rested.

Speaking of sleep, the training is going as well as to be expected. We spent the night at Becca and Zach's Saturday night, so Carson was in a different place at bedtime, and we didn't get to do his nightly routine, plus he slept next to Cory all night, so you can imagine how many times we had to go in and soothe him Sunday night. Last night was about the same. I also think he is teething, so he will be waking up more at night and we just have to accept that. I am going to try giving him some tylenol tonight to see if that helps the teething discomfort.

He rolls over constantly now! Everytime we go in to soothe him at night he is on his belly.

He is doing really well on baby food. He has cereal in the mornings at daycare and right now sweet potatoes in the evening. I will be trying one food per week to make sure he doesn't develop any allergies. I can't wait for him to try some of the sweeter ones, I think he will really like them. I love buying those tiny jars of baby food, they are SO cute!

He loves his baths now, and boy does he splash! I am ready for him to sit up on his own so I can bathe him in the kitchen; bathing him leaning over the bath tub is hard on our backs.

Cory: I am so excited for the plans I made for Cory's 30th Birthday! Although it will be hard leaving Carson for a night for the 1st time, we are in desperate need of some R&R and some time alone.

Getting Better

He did pretty good last night as well, not as good as the night before, but still good compared to prior weeks. He went to bed at about 7:40 and I did a passy run at 8:30, Cory did one at 11, then he had a bottle at 2:30 (exactly at the 8-hour mark from his last pm bottle). Then at around 4 he cried for 2 seconds but must have either been dreaming or is starting to self soothe b/c by the time I got to his room, he was asleep.

He woke for good around 6 and talked to the pictures of farm animals on his crib bumper for about 45 minutes. Then when he was bored of that I went and got him and let him watch cartoons in my bed.

All in all, I feel we are making progress. I really don't mind at all going in his room 3 times per night; but the previous nights having to go in every hour or 2 was very frustrating. Constistency really is key, for about a week now we have consistently made him sleep in his crib from bedtime to 6AM, and I hope this sticks!

Honestly I really think the pillow cases helped, I am anxious to see if it worked for my new sleep training buddy Courtney. I really enjoy reading her blog, and her son Henry is about the same age as Carson. It is so nice to have another mother to compare notes with :) Hope your training is going well Courtney!

Night #2

So last night, we did our 3 B's (bath, bottle, book) and rocking and we we were prepared to go in Carson's room 100 times after we put him to bed, we set up camp in the guest BR. Since its only a few steps away; which helps a lot in the middle of the night. However, to our surprise Carson slept from 8:30PM to 6AM. I went in for 2 passy inserts (1:30 and 4:40) and one breathing check b/c this was so unlike him (@ 5:30), I got really worried.

Ironically Cory and I slept like crap b/c we are getting old and only sleep well in our own bed, GO FIGURE! So tonight we will back in our bed and see if this was a fluke, which I am positive it was. Also I am not sure what made him sleep like this but for anyone who is willing to try anything: we put our used pillowcases under his fitted sheet so maybe our smells would soothe him. He was fussy yesterday b/c we didn't pick him up every time he wimpered, so he may have been more tired due to crying from not being spoiled. Thanks for the helpful comments, I will give some of those a try and report back.

Sleep Training

We are starting some sleep training with Carson. Like all babies, he is ever-changing. After 3 mo of age when we discovered he had reflux and got that under control, it was like a switch flipped and he slept great; he would sleep anywhere from 4-6 hours, then feed then sleep for 3-4 more hours. Then came the bronchiolitis and ear infections at 3.5 months where he needed constant comfort and could not be put down, so he slept in our bed for a couple of weeks. Then came the holidays where there were spiders in pack-n-plays and I thought my husband was going to die, so we all slept together to be close to each other and didn't care about sleep training at the time.

So with all the drama behind us for now (knock on wood) we are trying to get our bed back. For about 4 nights now we have been very firm with him sleeping in his bed from bedtime (7:30 to 8:30 ish) until 5am. We still give him a bottle in the middle of the night (I have read that he can go 8 hrs, but we only make him go 6 or 7 hrs between the last p.m. feeding and the wee hour a.m. feeding). We have gotten so frustrated and exhausted from the MANY wakings at night that we have considered using a cry-it-out method. But I can't do it, it breaks my heart.

I have done the research on different methods and what I read is that it doesn't matter what method you use, you just need to be consistent with it. HERE is the problem: 2 working parents, with commutes, nightly daycare prep, cooking and cleaning = exhaustion and an attitude of "just get it done." So when I saw the word consistent, I knew that the Ferber method was not for me- I knew I would break down and go in to comfort him ALL the time. Instead we have chosen a "no-tears method" which simply enough is doing what we were already doing: going in his room and comforting him by giving him his passy, rocking him, feeding or holding him until he calms down and then leaving him in his crib; also this method involves the "bed-time routine (another thing we have yet to establish due to exhaustion: ours will be bath, bottle, book and rocking). This method takes more time but I am fine with that. There is a little amount of time I get to spend with Carson at night and I don't want it spent hearing him cry.

So... we have been doing this for a few days now and have noticed a little progress - I am going to attempt to write down the number of times we have to go in there to soothe him and see if it actually works over time. I read that one person had to go in 126 times the 1st night, hopefully it won't be that bad.

Any moms out there with babies 5+ months old with any advice (other than CIO or putting baby in bed with us) I would love to hear it. Seriously...I would love some comments on this, I have been hearing crickets on my postings :)