Siblings, pregnancy, etc...

I haven't blogged in a while b/c life has been a little uneventful, which is fine by me :) Anyway, I had a cute Halloween post to do, but I left my USB cord at home, so it will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow. :(
But dang it, I WANT to blog today, its been too long!

During my blog reading today I saw a post by my good friend Janie about the ups and downs of pregnancy. And it got me thinking about my next pregnancy. It seems that everyone around me is pregnant or planning for a pregnancy. Truth be told, I want a another baby very soon! :) Cory and I both thought we would try for another when Carson turned 1 year old, but it just wasn't the right time for us, we wanted to achieve a few more financial goals, and I just felt like Carson was still such a baby to me and I just wasn't ready to make him share my attention. Now that he will be 15 months soon and is acting more like a toddler than a baby these days (there are tantrums to prove it), I am very open to the idea of giving him a sibling soon. I feel like he is ready and we are ready. And THAT is the only thing that matters. I was talking to my SIL the other day about how people like to tell you when the best time is for you to have your children. And I remembered all of the comments when we were first pregnant with Carson, people said "but you just got married" and then when Carson was here I had mentioned trying for another baby when he was around a year old..and the comment was "that soon?". Then just the other day I mentioned being ready for baby #2 and to give Carson a sibling and someone told me that I needed to get one out of diapers before I had another one. Well....changing diapers doesn't really bother me, its part of taking care of my baby, and that is not something that will dictate when I bring another child into this world. Cory and I want our children close in age. I want them to have what I didn't have (a friend and a sibling in one package), to have each others' back when Mom and Dad aren't around, to help each other with school stuff, to play with and teach each other things, share clothes, tell secrets, and confide in one another. My sister is 9 years older than me and my brother is 5 years older. Now, don't get me wrong - we all love each other very much, but growing up I felt like they hated me, and I was always in the way.

Anyway, back to the whole reason I was writing this post...in Janie's post she talked about how she wasn't one of those women who just adored being pregnant...I wasn't either...I constantly complained about strangers hurting my feelings, about heartburn, gaining weight, being tired, and so many other things. I often want to delete my "baby Carson" blog, b/c it seems SO negative. But really and truly, there were so many moments that I loved when I was pregnant and looking back, I regret taking it for granted. With any future pregnancies I hope to just revel in the excitement, to be proud of my huge belly, and to be thankful for what a blessing it is to be a woman and be able to do such a marvelous thing. Now that I have done it, I know that there is nothing more beautiful than carrying my baby. My next pregnancy will not be wished to fly by, nor overshadowed by complaints...it will be simply beautiful.

Ranting and VBAC

I was reading a breastfeeding post on Baby Rabies which led me to another breastfeeding post on a new blog that I have never read called The Feminist Breeder:


I was reading all of these debates and posts on breastfeeding v. formula feeding (a never-ending-nonsense-of-a-war), thinking "its none of your damn business how I or any other woman feeds her baby."

I was upset once b/c someone made a snide comment about the fact that Carson still sleeps with us for 1/2 the night. I wanted to say "You worry about yours and I will worry about mine, it is none of your business " There are people out there that think their way is the only and correct way. Every baby is an INDIVIDUAL and needs their own individual care. Babies are everchanging and as a mother I have learned that I am the same way, I have changed my views on many issues, one of which is sleep training which I will touch on in another post.

I have digressed....I then noticed on the Feminist Breeder's sidebar that she had a successful VBAC so I read her story and I began to wonder what if I could do that?


Let me preface this by saying that after my C-section, I assumed that my future birth-giving would be via C-section and I am the type of person that never questions medical professionals. I mean come on...they are the ones who have done years of school, training, research, etc...I respect them for that. So I always follow their advice. I always assume they have my best interest in mind. So I don't completely understand people who are "anti-doctor" and all that comes with it. I am more of a "better safe than sorry" type of person.



Without doing any research I just assumed that a C-section was safer for my future babies and myself b/c that is what my Doctor told me the protocol was.



After I read this : http://www.ican-online.org/vbac/postion-statement-elective-cesareans-riskier-than-vaginal-birth

This site listed some risks that definitely got my attention - risks that I had NO IDEA existed.

Examples:

-Women undergoing cesarean are at increased risk of hysterectomy in both the current and future pregnancies.
-The maternal death rate is twice as high for elective cesarean as for vaginal birth.
-In subsequent pregnancies, women with a prior cesarean have higher rates of serious placental abnormalities which endanger the life and health of the baby and the mother. -Women are rarely told that a cesarean places future babies at higher risk.
-After cesarean section, women face higher rates of secondary infertility as well as higher rates of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy.

I wondered why wasn't I informed of the risks to future babies if I had this initial C-section with Carson?

When the Dr. discovered that Carson was breech, the conversation was pretty much like this:


Dr.: Baby is breech you have 2 options, we try to turn him in utero which is a small chance of success based on fluid levels and gestational age; or option 2: cesarean on Sunday.


Me: ummm, ok, what do you think I should do? (I was so scared and I was alone, Cory was not at this apt with me b/c I didn't know it was going to be the last one)


Of course he recommended the C-section and the rest is history (I loved my childbirth experience and hospital stay, I just wish I had all the info before making that decision). I wish I would have asked more questions, but I was in a state of shock. I wish he would have informed me more. I am sure these risks were written in the paperwork that we signed when we checked into the hospital, but it is impossible to read ALL of that stuff when you know that you will meet your 1st baby within 2 hours. Like I said earlier, I am VERY trusting of Doctors.


Anyway, VBAC has my attention, and I will be researching more to know my risks (with both scenarios) and to know my options and my rights.

Baby-Wearing

I SO regret not getting a sling or a wrap when Carson was tiny. I registered for one of those standard baby carriers (that is a piece of crap BTW), b/c I thought we should have something Cory would feel comfortable with wearing too.

Well screw that! I was the one home all day with Carson for 3 months, and I could have gotten SO much more done around the house while holding, I mean wearing my baby - How awesome is that! I can't wait for baby #2!

I am starting a "regrets" label in order to help me remember the things I want to do differently with future children.